Are you Responsible?

For people who think they may be responsible for domestic abuse

Ask Yourself...

Q. Are your family / Partner scared of you?

Q. Have you been violent / controlling towards your Partner / Family Member?

Q. Do you get angry and display inappropriate behaviour?

If you have said yes to any of these questions, then your behaviour will fit into the category of domestic abuse. It is important to understand how it impacts on the people around you, so please click on the links below...

Children Suffer Too

Take a look at your behaviour

Do you want to change?

Services to help you

Children Suffer Too

Children don't have to be physically involved to be affected - just witnessing or overhearing the abuse may be very damaging.

Take a look at the following areas in which a child can be affected by domestic abuse and think about the children that are residing in your home

Physically affected children

Older children frequently attempt to stop one adult physically assaulting another adult, whereas younger children can become frightened and go to an adult for comfort; this adult is usually the victim of domestic violence. In both cases this can result in serious injuries.

Here is a list of reported forms of harm that children have suffered, or are likely to suffer in an environment where domestic abuse takes place:

Physical injury such as a punch / kick
Being pushed over causing a serious injury
Physical injury such as a broken arm / leg
Sexually abused by the perpetrator

Emotionally affected children

To understand why this impacts on children emotionally, we have to understand "attachment".

Children need to have what is known as a healthy "attachment" with the adults that care for them. A healthy attachment starts from birth between the carers and the child. This is an important part of the child's development, which allows the child to grow into a healthy adult. Children who have a secure attachment are able to trust, love, be confident and feel good about themselves. This means as they grow up they will be able to know what is right and wrong, do well at school, and have good healthy relationships.

To develop a healthy attachment, carers need to be able to offer love, respond in a calm, consistent manner and meet all the child's basic needs like feeding, clothing, bathing, etc. It is important to offer a child a safe and secure environment. However, in situations where there is domestic abuse the environment becomes unsafe, and carers become so caught up with the abuse that it leaves little or no time to care for children. In some situations carers are injured themselves, which means it's harder for them to care.

Here is a list of reported forms of harm that children have suffered, or are likely to suffer in an environment where domestic abuse takes place:

Weight loss
Eating disorder
Stomach aches
Anxiety and panic attacks
Living in fear
Being angry, and/or copying the abuser's behaviour
Depression
Experiencing nightmares or sleep disturbances
Feeling the need to run away from what should be a safe environment
Children suffer risk of self harm
Children suffer risk from drug and alcohol misuse, especially if they are trying to escape the emotions that they are feeling
Many of these concerns often cause the child to bed wet

Socially affected children

Children copy behaviour good or bad. This can cause the child difficulties to form appropriate relationships, and cause them problems within the community. The abuser may also be controlling over all the money in the family, which can cause hardship for the children.

Here is a list of reported forms of harm that children have suffered, or are likely to suffer in an environment where domestic abuse takes place:

Poor Social skills
Isolation
Unable to trust friends or adults
Poor social opportunities, such as attending age appropriate activities
Live in poverty
Unable to invite friends to their home

Intellectually affected children

Some carers who are the victims of domestic abuse are able to provide good parenting; however this can be very difficult. Children need daily routines to assist them in dealing with day to day tasks such as attending school. In domestic abuse situations most routines are disrupted and children often become disturbed during the night making it difficult to sleep and concentrate during the day.

Here is a list of reported forms of harm that children have suffered, or are likely to suffer in an environment where domestic abuse takes place:

Difficulties at school
Non school attendance
Not achieving potential at school
Poor opportunities for future employment

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Take a look at your behaviour

Take about 10 minutes to think about the following questions. Be honest to yourself and remember only you know the answers.

Destructive Criticism

Do you find yourself being verbally abusive towards your Partner / Family member?